Posted by on Aug 20, 2015 in Abuse, Challenging narratives, Common Myths, education, harm reduction, Healing, prevention, Trauma, Uncategorized | 0 comments

I just posted this on my Facebook page, and thought it was important enough to re-post here. There are lots of well-intentioned but ill informed people out there. If someone you know discloses that they are experiencing intimate partner violence, be an informed ally! It just may mean the difference between life and death for your friend or loved one.

The Network/La Red has a great article on their site for friends and family of survivors.

Here is some fantastic information from Casa Myrna about safety planning. This information is important both for allies and survivors.

And this is from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

So, in my Breaking Silence talk, I ask the audience what they think is one of the worst things you can say to someone in an abusive dynamic.

The answer is "You have to leave!"

Because in stripping a survivor of the ability to make their own choices, you're essentially re-victimizing them.

Also, one of the most dangerous and unpredictable points in the cycle of intimate partner violence is when the survivor decides to leave.

So, when you tell a survivor "You have to leave", at best you are revictimizing, and at worst conferring a death sentence.

Audacia Ray has bravely spoken up and out about leaving an abusive relationship. She is intelligent, savvy, and resilient.

Which brings up yet another important point about intimate partner violence. NO ONE is immune. No really.

If you think it cannot happen to you or that you know better, think again.