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CatalystCon Musings

Posted by on Sep 17, 2015 in Abuse, Challenging narratives, education, event, Restorative Justice, Sexuality, Sound Relationship Dungeon, storify, Trauma, Uncategorized | 1 comment

Thank you again to the organizers at CatalystCon for inviting me to speak. It was truly a privilege to have been part of this event. I truly appreciated the opportunity to connect and learn from so many amazing activists, clinicians and educators. For those of you who could not make it to CatalystCon, I am posting the Storify of the class’ livetweets. It seems that my talk generated some important dialogue around abuse in kink communities. I’m sad that in my haze of JetLag, I was not able to attend the panel discussion on abuse in...

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Troubleshooting Power Exchange Annotated

Posted by on Sep 6, 2015 in Classes, Common Myths, education, Sexuality | 0 comments

For those of you who missed it, here is a link to the webinar I gave last month on Troubleshooting Power Exchange. I’m really glad I had the opportunity to teach this class. I’m grateful to Jen, Dr. Bob, and Ava Durga of Creative Sexuality for inviting me to speak. I’ve been processing that webinar, and how it went, though I have yet to re watch the video. I, like so many, dislike hearing the sound of my own voice. Here are some of the takeaways I got from the experience. Teaching Webinars is Surprisingly Hard I don’t...

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More Shameless Self Promotion!

Posted by on Aug 25, 2015 in Sexuality | 0 comments

Ladies, Gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up their minds! And those who fall out of the gender binary. I may have just seen Kinky Boots over the weekend. Which was AMAZING, but not the subject of this post. Jen and Dr. Bob, along with the lovely folks at creativesequality.org have invited me to give a live webinar or troubleshooting power exchange relationships! So, if you missed my talks, or can’t make it out to see me speak in person, this is you chance! The webinar starts tonight, August 25, at 9 pm Eastern Time. Click here...

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Lessons in Abuse Response

Posted by on Aug 20, 2015 in Abuse, Challenging narratives, Common Myths, education, harm reduction, Healing, prevention, Trauma, Uncategorized | 0 comments

So, in my Breaking Silence talk, I ask the audience what they think is one of the worst things you can say to someone experiencing abuse. The answer is “You have to leave!” Because in stripping a survivor of the ability to make their own choices, you’re essentially re-victimizing them. Also, one of the most dangerous and unpredictable points in the cycle of intimate partner violence is when the survivor decides to leave. So, when you tell a survivor “You have to leave”, at best you are re-victimizing, and at...

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Woodhull Debrief

Posted by on Aug 17, 2015 in Challenging narratives, Classes, education, event, harm reduction, Healing, prevention, Sexuality, storify, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Woodhull Debrief

I am decompressing from an amazing and inspiring weekend at the Woodhull Sexual Summit. I am filled with gratitude to have been among the amazing speakers and professionals who are doing important work in the field of sexuality. I am still processing the event, and probably will be for the next few weeks. Many powerful conversations were had about sex education, intersections of privilege and vulnerability, and removing stigma around important conversations, among others. My Breaking Silence talk was also incredibly well received by a number...

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Anniversary

Posted by on Jul 9, 2015 in Abuse, Breaking Silence, Challenging narratives, Common Myths, Healing, Internet, Mental health, Trauma, troubleshooting kink, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Anniversary

It has been just over a year since I started this blog. Amazing how quickly the time has gone. When I began this blog, I set out to create a space where I could work out my thoughts, tackle some hot button issues, and hopefully providing a unique perspective on kink, sexuality and abuse. I like to think I’m doing an ok job thus far. A lot of very smart people have given me lots of great feedback on my writing. I’ve even been challenged in ways I didn’t know I needed. I look forward to seeing how this space evolves in the...

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The Sound Relationship Dungeon Part 7: Life Dreams

Posted by on Jun 26, 2015 in Challenging narratives, Common Myths, education, Healing, Power Exchange, Sexuality, Sound Relationship Dungeon, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Sound Relationship Dungeon Part 7: Life Dreams

Today I bring you the seventh and penultimate installment of my Sound Relationship Dungeon Series: Making Life Dreams Come True. The Gottmans Describe this level of the relationship house as an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations. In most healthy relationships, there is a space not only for partners to pursue their hopes and dreams, but also to support their partner’s dreams. When I say hopes and dreams, I don’t necessarily mean unreachable fantasies...

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The Oppression that Wasn’t There

Posted by on Jun 16, 2015 in Challenging narratives, Common Myths, education, Gender, Sexuality, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Oppression that Wasn’t There

The Rachel Dolezal story has a lot of people shaking their heads. I’ll let Jon Stewart explain: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/9pxi9w/whaaaaaaat—–black-ish-ish In the wake of this story breaking, pundits and bloggers of all political stripes have compared this story to Caitlyn Jenner’s coming out as trans. The term “transracial” has been floated about. After all, if gender can be fluid, why can’t cultural identity? Here’s the thing. Ms. Dolezal never claimed to be trans-anything. She claimed...

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AASECT Debrief

Posted by on Jun 8, 2015 in AASECT, Breaking Silence, Challenging narratives, Classes, education, event, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Uncategorized | 0 comments

AASECT Debrief

As I decompress from my weekend at AASECT, I find myself faced with an interesting yes/and moment. This past weekend was a transformational experience for me, both personally and professionally. At the same time, concerns have been raised about AASECT’s commitment not only to diversity, but fostering an environment that is open and welcoming to people of color. The members of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network lay out their objections to the book award recipients in this statement. While I can’t claim to know anything about...

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Pink Therapy and Sexual Diversity

Posted by on Jun 1, 2015 in harm reduction, Healing, kink event, Mental health, prevention, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Uncategorized | 0 comments

One of the many presenters I had the privilege of meeting at CARAS was Dominic Davies of Pink Therapy. Pink therapy is a practice in the UK that specializes in gender and sexual diversity. They provide culturally competent care to clients of all genders and sexual identifications. They also offer some pretty fantastic training programs. If I had the time and money to make a trip to the UK, I would sign up for one of their training programs in a hot second. At CARAS, Dominic gave a fantastic talk/facilitated discussion on navigating the ethics...

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