The details of R Kelly’s alleged “sex cult” bears certain external similarities to the trappings of a consensual D/s relationship. However, strict protocols do not a D/s relationship make. Even if, for the sake of argument, R Kelly’s actions did fall under the rubric of kinky play, his actions would still be problematic and abusive
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Expounding on beloved fictional characters’ sex lives and relationships. And what lessons/cautionary tales can be gleaned from those pairings.
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Someone asked on a Facebook discussion thread why the Orlando shooting brings up so much angst around identity for bisexual folks. This is my response
Read MoreAs I had hoped, my last post on Shibari and Appropriation generated some really interesting and important feedback. Some people identified some perceived blind spots in my post, as well as aspects of this issue that went unaddressed or under-addressed. A few people noted, and rightly so, was that the issue was not about cultural appropriation, but rather...
Read MoreIs Shibari cultural appropriation? The answer is complicated.
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So, I was getting ready to finally get off my tail and write my last Sound Relationship Dungeon entry, when a dear friend messaged me on Facebook Chat. He said: Aww, man! Gottman is hating on porn. He also linked to this open letter from Gottman’s blog. Gottman writes: With pornography use, much more of a normal stimulus may eventually be needed to...
Read MoreThank you again to the organizers at CatalystCon for inviting me to speak. It was truly a privilege to have been part of this event. I truly appreciated the opportunity to connect and learn from so many amazing activists, clinicians and educators. For those of you who could not make it to CatalystCon, I am posting the Storify of the class’...
Read MoreFor those of you who missed it, here is a link to the webinar I gave last month on Troubleshooting Power Exchange. I’m really glad I had the opportunity to teach this class. I’m grateful to Jen, Dr. Bob, and Ava Durga of Creative Sexuality for inviting me to speak. I’ve been processing that webinar, and how it went, though I have yet to...
Read MoreLadies, Gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up their minds! And those who fall out of the gender binary. I may have just seen Kinky Boots over the weekend. Which was AMAZING, but not the subject of this post. Jen and Dr. Bob, along with the lovely folks at creativesequality.org have invited me to give a live webinar or troubleshooting power exchange...
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I am decompressing from an amazing and inspiring weekend at the Woodhull Sexual Summit. I am filled with gratitude to have been among the amazing speakers and professionals who are doing important work in the field of sexuality. I am still processing the event, and probably will be for the next few weeks. Many powerful conversations were had about sex...
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Today I bring you the seventh and penultimate installment of my Sound Relationship Dungeon Series: Making Life Dreams Come True. The Gottmans Describe this level of the relationship house as an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations. In most healthy relationships, there is a space...
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The Rachel Dolezal story has a lot of people shaking their heads. I’ll let Jon Stewart explain: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/9pxi9w/whaaaaaaat—–black-ish-ish In the wake of this story breaking, pundits and bloggers of all political stripes have compared this story to Caitlyn Jenner’s coming out as trans. The term...
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As I decompress from my weekend at AASECT, I find myself faced with an interesting yes/and moment. This past weekend was a transformational experience for me, both personally and professionally. At the same time, concerns have been raised about AASECT’s commitment not only to diversity, but fostering an environment that is open and welcoming to...
Read MoreOne of the many presenters I had the privilege of meeting at CARAS was Dominic Davies of Pink Therapy. Pink therapy is a practice in the UK that specializes in gender and sexual diversity. They provide culturally competent care to clients of all genders and sexual identifications. They also offer some pretty fantastic training programs. If I had the time...
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As this Memorial Day comes to a close, I am processing everything I learned a the CARAS conference this past weekend. It was truly a privilege to have been counted among such brilliant and talented presenters. Of all the presentations I attended, what seems to stick with me most are the opening and closing plenaries on the nature of kink identity. There...
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