I initially posted this along with my CatalystCon Live tweets. However, on further reflection, I decided it warranted its own post. In addition to my talk, there was also a panel at CatalystCon on addressing abuse in alternative relationships. Cunning Minx of Polyamory Weekly published her roundup of that conversation here. I was glad to see other people...
Read MoreLessons in Abuse Response
So, in my Breaking Silence talk, I ask the audience what they think is one of the worst things you can say to someone experiencing abuse. The answer is “You have to leave!” Because in stripping a survivor of the ability to make their own choices, you’re essentially re-victimizing them. Also, one of the most dangerous and unpredictable...
Read MoreWoodhull Debrief
I am decompressing from an amazing and inspiring weekend at the Woodhull Sexual Summit. I am filled with gratitude to have been among the amazing speakers and professionals who are doing important work in the field of sexuality. I am still processing the event, and probably will be for the next few weeks. Many powerful conversations were had about sex...
Read MorePink Therapy and Sexual Diversity
One of the many presenters I had the privilege of meeting at CARAS was Dominic Davies of Pink Therapy. Pink therapy is a practice in the UK that specializes in gender and sexual diversity. They provide culturally competent care to clients of all genders and sexual identifications. They also offer some pretty fantastic training programs. If I had the time...
Read MoreHealthcare and Kink
For kink identified people, finding judgment free healthcare can be tricky. It is one of the reason’s why the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has compiled a directory of kink aware professionals. For those who are sexual masochists, submissives, and the like, deciding whether to explain bruising or power dynamics to a medical provider is not...
Read MoreTool kits and discontents
As part of my research for my Breaking Silence Class, I came across two resources that seemed very promising. The first is INCITE’s resources for community organizing and violence prevention. INCITE is an organization of women, gender non-conforming, and trans* people of color who are working to prevent violence in their communities. I haven’t...
Read MoreLena Dunham and Accidental Javerts
The more time I spend on social media, the more I wish more people understood Brene Brown’s findings on shame and blame. I’ll let her explain. Lena Dunham is popping up quite a bit on my social media pages. She has apparently been accused of shamelessly describing molesting her sister in her newest book. She is one of many public figures who are being...
Read MoreShame, Denial, and Victim Blaming
Last night, a friend of mine forwarded this article to me about the Rice domestic violence scandal. While, as a white female, I do not fall anywhere near his target audience (black men), I found a lot to relate to in his article. As the author very astutely points out, the excuses for Rice coming from black men bear a frightening resemblance to those that...
Read MoreEmbracing “Yes-And”
Of all of the coursework I did in my social work program, I think the classes I took on DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) left the strongest impact on me. While I don’t have enough training or the proper setup to be a fully fledged DBT practitioner, many DBT concepts profoundly inform both my clinical work and how I engage my communities. The core...
Read MoreKink and Mental Health Roundtable
First of all, I want to thank all of the folks at Geeky Kink New England for hosting me, and putting together such a wonderful event. On Saturday morning, I taught my Breaking Silence class, which breaks down the differences between healthy and abusive kink, and explores how to best address abuse and violence in kink communities. There was a small turnout,...
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