Polyamory’s #MeToo Moment
On the recent disclosures of abuse in the community and the transformative justice process that I am a part of.
Breaking Silence, Building Connection
How's your relationship house?
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Recent news More posts »We Need to Talk About R Kelly
The details of R Kelly’s alleged “sex cult” bears certain external similarities to the trappings of a consensual D/s relationship. However, strict protocols do not a D/s relationship make. Even if, for the sake of argument, R Kelly’s actions did fall under the rubric of kinky play, his actions would still be problematic and abusive
Fictional Sex
Expounding on beloved fictional characters’ sex lives and relationships. And what lessons/cautionary tales can be gleaned from those pairings.
Trump Voters and the Empathy Cudgel
To ask someone who is black, or Muslim, Jewish, Female, Trans, Hispanic, Latinx queer, etc.. to hold empathy for Trump supporters is the equivalent of asking a domestic violence survivor to have empathy for their abuser.
Empathy is being used as an excuse to avoid accountability for the consequences of a Trump vote. This instinct, however well intentioned, is tantamount to gaslighting.
Bisexual identity and Orlando
Someone asked on a Facebook discussion thread why the Orlando shooting brings up so much angst around identity for bisexual folks. This is my response
Thoughts on the Stanford Sexual Assault Case
The Stanford sexual assault case is heartbreaking, and many people are angered by the judge’s leniency on the perpetrator. The Internet is out for blood. I’m not. But I’m still angry, and want to channel that anger into something less corrosive.
Shibari Appropriation Redux
As I had hoped, my last post on Shibari and Appropriation generated some really interesting and important feedback. Some people identified some perceived blind spots in my post,...
Shibari and cultural appropriation
Is Shibari cultural appropriation? The answer is complicated.
Et Tu, Gottman?
So, I was getting ready to finally get off my tail and write my last Sound Relationship Dungeon entry, when a dear friend messaged me on Facebook Chat. He said: Aww, man! Gottman...